Tis' the Season

My my my!!! London around Christmas is incredible! They take it quite seriously over here, everyone gets into the Christmas mood in November. It's all lovely though.
I am going to miss London when I come home for the Holidays. I am officially that Uni student who makes her way home for Christmas. I am quite excited to come home, only 4 more days!!! Who is counting though?

I have finished all my courses and have had all my hand-ins, I did quite well in most of my subjects. I came away with 1 pass, 3 merits and a distinction. All were level 3's, so here here to being amazing! We've had our briefing for next term and we are supposed to do all the research over Christmas break, which will be cool because then I can show off a little and have evidence of what I am doing in my course to show my family.

I am looking forward to coming home, I miss all my friends and family a lot more than I had anticipated. I am also looking forward to all the yummy meals I've kindly asked my mummy to make for me. REAL FOOD!! I will actually eat proper food. I do eat here, but having a small budget means that I am living off rice and veggies. Meat is a luxury. There are actually quite a few foods I am looking forward to eating again.
I also want to rub my face into my animals!!!!! OMG I miss them dearly! I also want to see my Brother and have a mummy hug. I may be 19 but I feel as if I have regressed in age while being here. Although, if you see me over my break you will probably think the opposite.

I am also looking forward to working again. I have talked with my previous boss and have agreed to let me work for 2 weeks!! I am super stoked to see all my work friends!! I miss them sooooooo much. I also miss just working, I know I have my studies but I kind of want to see my bank account go up once in a while. Seeing it drop constantly after having a year of the opposite is really hard to grasp.

Now that I am on my Christmas break I have had a chance to walk around London again. I went all around the west side today. I went to parliament and got annoyed at all the tourists that just stop in the middle of the side walk every 3 seconds to snap a picture of a new piece of "London gum." Ugh, that was annoying. So, I walked around Victoria then Belgravia and Hans Town, up through Knightsbridge and South Kensington. After that my feet started to hurt so I just came home. I am going to sleep really well, I did 5 hours of walking.

Also my Christmas shopping had been done for a week. I don't think I spent more than 150 quid. Market gifts are the ultimate. So cheap and so unique, everyone will love what they are going to receive.


Well, I am going to leave you with that for now. There might be another one soon.

See you in Canada or after my break!!

Deadlines, Deadlines, Deadlines..

I have not been keeping this up on a very good routine.

HI!!

So a lot has gone on since my last post. We just finished our course hand-ins, that was stressful. I just got back my last hand-in today. The final tally, minus my design course, is Merits in Photography, Photoshop and Personal Professional Development. As well as earning a Distinction in Fashion industry, I kind of schmoozed my way into that one, I have been a kiss ass all term and have all the tutors adoring me.

You may be wondering how the grading system works, well, it goes something like this:

To get a Merit or Distinction you must have a Level 3 (Which is the equivalent of "exceeds expectations") and meet all the criteria needed to pass the course and then go above and beyond. A Level 2 is just a pass, meaning all criteria was shown but minimal effort was put in.

The college has a Level system that Access Students must earn a Level 3 for the year to go onto a Undergraduate course. It's weird but it works. So far I have all Level 3's in all of my courses, now I just have to maintain that.

As well as handing in all my work so far, I have to figure out which courses I want to apply to. They have changed since we last spoke. Central Saint Martins is not the school for me, also they don't have a costume programme, so I am out of luck on that one. But that is fine, because I have access to all the 5 schools I can go and use the facilities at CSM any time, I have been in there a few times, it really demands the students to think creatively and "out of the box" to the extreme. The atmosphere of the school is really quite nice however, but depending on which department you go to, things could get real weird REAL fast. I've heard some stories about the theatre kids. Although the reputation of the school would be nice to have, the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts is where you need to go if you want "theatre." I have scheduled myself for an open day, to go and see the school and have a talk about the course, as well as a free workshop to try out different things that the school offers.

I've also looked into courses at my college that are for costume design and performance, they are pretty good as well. I have a lot of decision making to do if I get back multiple offers.


But enough about school, I HAVE MADE MORE AND MORE FRIENDS!!!!
Yet the irony of it, I have still not been out to a proper night club. I will most likely go this weekend or next, just with all my hand-ins and deadlines, it's a little tough. The friends that I have are incredible, I can have so many laughs with them and I would hate to loose any of them!


I have also been going through a little bit of homesickness. There are just comforts that I want to have and people that I just want to hug. I miss my brother a lot, and skype is just not enough. It is great, don't get me wrong, but there is a very small window in the day where I can talk to him. I just miss being around my family, just being close to them, just in the same room. That would be nice.

Blubber, blubber, blubber.. All right, that is it today, if I think of anything more it will go up here in another post.

Long time!! Hellooo

So I have not posted in a long time, I am not going to lie, I forgot about it. SOORRRRYY!!

BUT!, I am going to get back into the swing of things, because I can now use this for the Courses and Careers portion of my course. I can use at more of a diary. It might get personal, but not really. (it's been pretty personal)

The course is only a couple of weeks, so it's not that long, but we are supposed to pick out what we are wanting our BA's to be. At first I was like, "Well, I have no idea what the eff I want to do..." Then, one of my tutors was looking through my sketchbook to see my progress, he said, and I QUOTE "It's very costume-y.." 

Sorry. What?

My knee jerk reaction to that was relief, it wasn't textiles or print. There is nothing wrong with either of those, but if that was what I was good at I would need some serious counselling, I think I would collapse. It's just not where I see myself in 10 years. But costume, I have done 2 plays already (designed and made the costumes), seems like a natural placement for me. I can always go into womenswear later on, but I have always desired the skills of costume making and design. So, I started mulling over the idea, then I was talking to my mum and a couple friends, and slowly but surely I convinced myself that, yes, costume is where I should go. I can even still get into Central Saint Martins  It's just a matter of convincing myself that yes, I am that good. I've always had extreme self doubt. I know that I sometimes, most of the time, come off as extremely confident. The fact of the matter is that I feel I need to have every ones approval and opinion, which can be a good thing but it also has it's negatives. Needing constant affirmation can be annoying for some people. I just like to know what people are thinking, so that I can make my work that much better. I voice my opinion, others should feel like they can too. 

I think the one idea that sold me on going into costume design was the fact that I could possibly work with my brother later on in life. He wants to go into acting, also if I could achieve an Oscar or a BAFTA for my work, that would be AMAZING!

Just knowing that I could if I wanted to, switch over to womenswear later on in life makes me a little happier. I can take the skills from costume and apply them in a very wearable way. I look at my favorite designers and they're on the verge of costume. Galliano, Elie Saab, McQueen and the great John Paul Gaultier.

Now it's just a question of school, there is Central Saint Martins, Wimbledon and LCF that are a part of University of the Arts London. Then there are also Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts (RADA) and Nottingham University that have caught my eye, so I don't really know. CSM is my dream school, but I am intimidated, I don't feel like I quite deserve to be there. But I know I will be kicking myself if I don't go there,  I will feel like if I don't go there then I am not as good as I thought. It's a lot of pressure I am putting on myself.

I don't know if any of this is making sense, I am going to apply to all of them, and then if I get accepted to all of them I will have a REALLY TOUGH DECISION. (CSM..Duh)

Talk to yea soon!! 

A Month Later

Another day and I am still tying to process the fact that I am in London, England.  It's not a dream, although it really feels like one, it also feels like a vacation, which is probably why I love it here.  However, every time I talk with my brother I get more and more homesick.   I don't want to leave London, I want them to come to me.  I finally understand why people have such obsessions over cities, like, before I thought they were just crazy. Now I've become one of them. I am not even kidding you, I am seriously considering buying a ring in Camden, wearing it on my ring finger everyday. 

OKAY, so now that you've discovered my tangent skills, I am going to carry on. I really miss my brother.  I don't think you understand how close we are.  When we were little and fell asleep in the car, on long journeys, we had to sit side by side and, on numerous occasions, hold hands. I know, WE ARE SO CUTE! ( I've just emmbarassed my brother completely.) It's a relationship that cannot be replicated, I have already bought him some of his Christmas pressy, actually I got it within one of the first days I was here.  I miss his smile and laugh, oh lord, I sound completely cheesy.  I miss my mum TOO, but more so my brother.  I didn't mentally prepare myself for this kind of alone feeling, well, it's more of, like, a detachment. I just miss him and my cat. Sorry mum, dad, grandparents, the rest of you. I mean I miss all of you, but the fact of the matter is, he is closer to my age and my cat is my other half.  Plain and simple. 

Well, sappy sob story over, OOOOOooo look at that alliteration (BAM!)

Being in the 3rd/4th week of college, now knowing the direction of the course, I am in love. It's like every princess dream come true, except for me it's not princess-y, it's more like, obsession is reality.  I melt into the course, I completely understand what it is they are trying to bring out of me, I am SUPER excited to show them what I can do!!!

On a side note, there are very few of us in my course who can actually sew, and sew well.  THANK YOU MRS. VANCE!! The range I have in my skill set puts me above the rest, in that respect, but I still need to grow with my art skills. That is something that can come with time, I feel it's within myself, I just haven't quite figured out how to completely pull it out and showcase it. This next year will hopefully do just that.

That being said, to the little note above, everyone wants to do 'womenswear,' and I don't doubt that some of them may go into it. I am trying my hardest to keep an open mind.  Although, we had our induction on the sewing room..... I so badly want to be in there all the time. I want to be making more things.  I was having a really crap day on the day of our induction.  Our tutor showed us the machine and my mood changed instantly.  I think from then I knew I wanted to work with textiles in some form.  Whether is design, drafting, tailoring, whatever. I want to keep my mind as open as possible and push myself to be the absolute best.  Galiano and Mcqueen didn't go to this college expecting greatness to just be handed to them, I feel the same way. I want to work and work really hard for it.  Which is why I am mentally exhausted half the time, I am pushing myself to be beyond what I know, I am experimenting and challenging myself.

It really is everything I thought it would be, and a great deal more.

I am really sorry for all the cheesiness. 

Well, I can safely say being incredibly outgoing and talkative, at the right time, it has paid off. I was elected to be a Student Representative for my group. It is a leadership role and I can add it to my CV. It looks really great on there apparently. I was kind of hesitant to accept, only because I thought "How am I going to do this and all my course work?"
To be honest, it's not that it's a job or a chore when you've, sort of, assumed the role in the beginning. I have just been given the wrong name at birth, I should have been name Cathy or Obama. Once I found out what a Student Representative is I find that I really like the role, I can foresee it being really helpful to my progression into Higher Education courses.




You could be reading the blog of a future Fashion president. Crazy.

Well, I must say, college is lovely. I don't know what all the fuss is about.

Probably because my classes have been reasonably easy.

I haven't posted in a while because I have been so busy living life and LOVING IT!

So last week was out induction week, so just a run over of what each class will entail.

We also got a tour of the facilities we will be using and have access to. The library is massive, not in the sense that there is a lot of space, but a lot of information. I've mentioned on my Facebook page that there is every single edition of Vogue. Italian, german, British, American... Like, every edition, I think you can guess where my time will be spent. Not only does is have a vast Vogue collection, but it has every aspect to fashion imaginable. If you think of the craziest thing, the library will have it. Even video, no need to go rent movies, I can do it for free.


I love my classmates!!! We discussed McQueen, Lagerfeld, our aspirations, how we got into Uni, the kind of art we are interested in. All the topics we discussed to normal people, I say that because we are not normal to anyone else but ourselves, they would think we are absolutely cliché. But quite honestly, talking about certain trends and what designers we like, and don't like, is COMPLETELY natural. I do not feel like a tumor in society I feel like I am a limb in it. It is a wonderful feeling to be apart of something bigger than just yourself. I am just one cell in the fashion world that creates an entire industry.


We had a presentation from Tony Glenville today. I love him, his presentation made me EXTREMELY excited for my life in the fashion industry and every aspect that can be done within it. He talked about trends, business, influential people, his experiences, runways, he basically covered everything. In small detail of course, but the way he talked about it, was so passionate and cheerful. You could tell that he was thrilled to be talking to a new generation of "cells." If he gives any lectures or seminars this year, regardless if they are apart of my course or not, I will go to hear him again. Just how he presents himself and his teachings is exciting and overwhelming. In a way that is understandable. I found myself tapping into my left brain while listening to him talk. I was able to calmly process his information as well as imagine from it. I got a tremendous vibe from him that was creatively potent. I wanted to, so badly, sit at a sewing machine and tailor a coat or a best for him. ( I get to tomorrow!!)

Let's just say that I am looking forward to this year with open optimism and the desire to grow. As an artist and as a designer.

It is wonderful having friends. I am just going to say. That being around like minded people and people that are interested in what you are talking about, it's fantastic. I cannot wait to make more friends and have more contacts. However, as I say that I do miss my friends back home. There are nights and moments where I just want to go and see a movie or have coffee with someone I have known for a while. I am just so egar that I want to make life long friends right now!


It is also quite mentally exhausting being an artist. I know that sounds really lame, but putting out a lot of creativity takes a lot out of you. Problem solving is a lot different than creating. It's like the difference between creating a math problem and being given one to solve. That's all that happened on Thursday, and what will be happening for the next couple Thursdays. We put a lot of creativity into our work and by the end of the class we all wanted a nap. HOLY!! But it was a good feeling of being tired. I felt like I learned and accomplished quite a bit.

A point that I have noticed a lot in my work, ability to learn and cope with everything, I have more maturity. If I was to do this course last year, I would not have gotten as much out of it. I would have grown, yes, but not to the full capacity that I am able to now. I find that I understand things a lot quicker, that may just be because I am interested in what is being taught, but I also am able to reiterate the lessons to those that don't understand in a way that they do understand.

The best way to learn is to teach it, right?

Okay, I am going to leave it there, I gave you a lot to process. Some may have noticed that I have another blog up. That is my computer tech course. We are suppose to post images that we work on in class up there so that the instructor can mark them. It is open to everyone, so feel free to see what I am doing and giggle at my efforts and see my progression.

Ask any questions you have about the course, my experience or just about me, I will be more than happy to answer!

Roses..

So as much as I left the house at 9 am to be at college for 9:15 to 9:30, just my luck, I picked like, THE slowest train in existence. I was late, but honestly, it was my own doing. I should have planned the route and actually have gone through it yesterday. I thought about it, but hindsight is always, ALWAYS, 20/20, and fate was just not on my side.

I looked super great though, I was so proud when I left the house. I managed to Skype my mum and my best friend AND still look amazing.

Class. 

That's all. (thank you Meryl Streep)

So, I am not going to lie, my brain is a little numb from today. A lot went on, so sorry in advance for all the mistakes and everything. 

For the first bit my course leaders/instructors gave the 186 students that are enrolled for my course a lecture on what to expect and all the resources that are available. After about an hour and a half we took a short break. Then it was back to it, this time, more specialized. So we had talks from staff within the school talk to the class; student services, the study support, library staff (we have the best Fashion library in the world, at least I think it was world..) and the language and international staff. So really, I was almost ready to fall down dead. First because some of the speakers were semi boring, as well, I really just want to get in to it and get my hands dirty! 

So after all the staff had finished talking they sent us on lunch and when we returned we had to go to assigned studios to meet our lead tutor. Which was kind of like home room, in high school, and my tutor just broke down what to expect for the first term and the year. As well as how to read our course hand book and our student handbook.

Now, I've probably given you a lot of terms that you don't quite understand. SO! I am going to give you the detailed version. 

-We  have our course leaders, they are also some student's tutors (it all depends on the group that you've been assigned to.)

-Our group tutors are basically our assessors for the year. They also teach some classes, but like I said, like home room teachers.

-My course handbook has everything that my course will entail, all the projects and material that I will be learning or handing in.

-My Studio Handbook gives me more detail about what each course I am taking.

So I am sure you all want to know what I will be studying this year!!! Well, it's quite a line-up.

I will be Studying:

• Photography
• Drawing
• from life
• sketching
• Fashion Industry
• trends
• influences
• history
• this is also where my English fits in.
• Computer imaging
• photoshop
• illustration
• Design
• sewing
• styling
• little taste of draping and drafting

Most of what I just gave you is for the first term, until Christmas. I will get briefed on term 2 when the term starts.

I am in the process of making new friends, I made one today! Even went as far as adding him on Facebook. But I didn't really meet him at college, I met him at the new Burberry store on Regent's Street. I spent an hour talking to him. We talked about literally, everything. Phobia's, what kinds of fashion we like, music, films, theatre, family, jobs, you name it we probably talked about it. He works there, so I might just go back and chat with him again. But the Burberry store is absolutely INCREDIBLE! Other stores should take notes. It's not just a store, it's an environment. I kid you not there is a stage that can rise form the floor so that bands can play when Burberry holds event. How cheeky is that?! The staircases are beautiful and the staff, they are lovely. 

I just had a really bright day. It had so much life. 

I tweeted and posted on my Facebook "I lived today. I didn't exist, I lived." 

I cannot compare this feeling of freedom and existence to anything else.

The best advice I have ever been given.

"Just breath."

And today, I smelled roses.

The list will get longer, I am sure.

So I promise I will not rant, that by no means I cannot complain.

I am finding more and more that I am settling into 'London Life' quickly and quite comfortably. I feel so at peace and so at home. I am once again excited for the future and not anxious about it. I know this because my finger nails have some length to them. It has been a very bad habit of mine, I constantly was biting off my finger nails. Now they are nice and trim (I won't say long, because they are not there yet.)

Living in London is everything that I have been expecting it to be and LOADS more! I feel energetic and full of life and excitement!! I know I've had these feelings before, but it has been a very long time and I welcome them with an open mind and arms.

For me to describe these feeling in full would confuse you completely. However, I can try and give you a glimpse. Try and remember the first ever feeling you had where you have felt at peace, at home and comfortable with your surroundings. All at the same time.

That is a little of what I feel, I feel a lot more than just that. I may be alone right now, but the future is so filled with possibility and inspiration I can't help but feel excited. 

So, I am done with all the "fluffy clouds and pretty unicorns" bit. Now on to some things that I've had to get used to.
First on the list.

• I went to Costco, I have never been more happy to go to Costco IN MY LIFE!

I finally have ICED TEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

( I could keep going with exclamation points, but your finger would get tired of scrolling.)

• Frosted Flakes are called "Frosties"
• Miracle Whip does not exist.
• Tea is absolutely lovely over here. Oh my gosh, I drink like, 3 to 4 cups a day. Oh, it's wonderful!
• People have style. I am not even kidding you. Expressionism is in everyone, even people in old age. I love their style the most.
• Vegetables come in packages, unless you go to a market really early in the morning. I have yet to find a market. 
• The clocks are run on 24 hour time. So, I actually have to do math *groans*, I am slowly getting used to the teen and twenty numbers, memorizing what they are in single digits. Emphasis on slowly.
• The way I say "Sorry" is very English already. Sort of. I can't hear an accent in my voice, YET!
• 'Mind the Gap' means 'Watch your step between the tube and the platform.' For those that didn't know, I do now. HA!
• The change, money, is completely different! Although I do like how the price that is posted, it's the price you pay, there is no surprise tax when you get to the till. It's marvellous.
• Pubs are on every street, mews, place, road etc.
• Pret a Manger is like the new Starbucks, in the respect that they're EVERYWHERE. They are like this little cafe, that sells prepared daily sandwiches, soup and wraps. It's quite yummy.

I just really love London. I think I can call it home, I know I've been here a week and a half but I belong here. I've not felt this kind of feeling, well, ever. It's strange, but I welcome it and hope it never leaves.

As most of you who read this also have me on Facebook, I went to Tate Modern today. For those that do not have me on Facebook, I went to Tate Modern today.

Now, prepare yourself, I am going to rant. Just a little, I promise.

I went to Tate Modern with an open mind, I honestly did not know what kind of art would be seen by my eyes. So, I decided I would give it a try. When I first went in, I knew the admission was free and some parts were not, I couldn't figure out where the free admission was and where the "not free" admission was. So I just kind of, meandered my way in and if someone was going to ask for a ticket, I would blondely state that "I thought the entire building was free." Anyway, I enter "The Tanks." Interestingly enough, you don't get submerged into water! Which was what I was expecting, I was thinking of something along the lines of water or wine or some military ensemble. I was very wrong. One 'chamber' is just a whole bunch of people sitting and standing, in no real formation, then the lights change and they start singing about politics and world destruction. I wasn't sure if I should laugh or applaud, maybe even join in on the hymn. It was all very perplexing, and not in a way that gave me any definitive answer as to why I was perplexed. It just "was" perplexing.

So, not even 5 minutes into the museum and I'm already a little frustrated, however, I am to keep an open mind and reflect afterwards on what my opinion is. 

I carry on to the next chamber, oh, my bad, "tank" and hear a bunch of old women talking about growing old. Topics that included sensuality, religion, nursing homes, children and loneliness. This one I found to be the most interesting, probably the best thing about the whole museum.
Well, after that there were some more tanks with no lights and silent movies, that could hardly decide on definitive topic. Then a tank that on lookers were supposed to participate in, playing drums or talking on a microphone. I am at a museum, not Science World.

If I wanted to watch lights change while I talk into a microphone I would check out Science World. Modern art has blurred the line between science and art. 

Can we just re-name modern art, to something a little more catchy and perfectly descriptive? How about Science & Art?!

After I got completely bored with "The Tanks" I went on upstairs to where the real modern art is, not some gimmicky science trick. Something that takes time, not just a set up chair in the middle of a room with a green light emanating from some unknown source.

I enter. 

An abstract fair. 

Now, don't get me wrong, some abstract art can be really good, but half the pieces shown in the gallery were done by artists that I've never heard of, and it looked like any other abstract art gallery out there. There were a few pieces that I found I really admired and could see in a room with some furniture and a warm family setting. That was mainly because I could see that the artist had some life to base the drawing or painting on. That, in my mind, is good abstract art. Not 6 squares of different colours on a wall in a Tetris reference.

Okay, so, I think you get my drift, besides I am bored of this topic. It irritates me. I like historical art, that's all there is to it.

On to the next order of business!

I want friends!!!

No, like seriously, I want some friends. The ones I have back home, I wish they were here to do things with me and figure the city out. Humans are not meant to be on their own. They need interaction, well at least I do. I know I shouldn't be complaining, but I am in an entirely different culture. It does not even compare to "moving to Victoria." There at least you can easily get certain things, or have an idea of where they might be. In England grocery shopping is COMPLETELY different. As well as trying to find out where things are, I am thankful for my Iphone 4s. I would be stumbling around like a complete idiot without it.

I am getting tired of typing and so is my stomach, it's telling me to eat something. Besides, this post is quite long.. Sorry 'bout tha'!

Until my next post, I promise it won't be as "rant-y."

The Modern Housewife

I spent all of yesterday on my feet, now my body hates me. I also stayed up really late so that I could talk to my brother, via Skype, which, didn't last long because I was dead tired.

Although, I can safely say that I spent my first night in my new house, I'm not going to call it a home just yet, and all went as well as I had hoped. However, I only see this as a landing zone, not a permanent place of residence. It does have many perks though, relativity to my school is within a fifteen minute walk. There are multiple grocers around; Tesco, Sainsbury, and if I ever need to have a quick bite Pret á Manger is on every block. I mean this quite literally, it's like Starbucks all over again, just this time it has food. As well, the customer service is better, I don't feel judged every time I walk in.

Now that I have moved in, unpacked my entire life, (I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that) I can focus on the more important things. Like, I need groceries! I actually have to supply them, the house is not magically updated with supplies. This too is another thing to wake up to. It's all the little things that you take for granted, that once you move out, you appreciate them 100%. It's just unfortunate that it's after the fact.

Sorry mum, I finally understand your years of stress and frustration. Well, let's be honest, I don't understand it completely, but I have a pretty good idea.

The next phase I have to get prepared for. COLLEGE!!!! The feature that brought me here. It will break me down, strip me apart and make me a somebody. Not just a person that is existing for existing sake. At least that is what I've felt for the past year...
I finally get to "live the dream" and feel like I have a purpose, it is so surreal. I wake up every morning expecting to be back in Canada in my mums house, even though I am here and living the London lifestyle. It's just an incredible reality. I hope it never ends!

More things about me that I am noticing are changing, my confidence. I have the underground mastered! (sort of.) Tourists came up to me yesterday and asked which tube went where, and I was able to answer with no hesitation or problem at all! I was so proud.
Although, I still have Londoners asking me where I'm from, because of my accent, I reply with "Canada" and their eyes go wide. Mainly because they're confused, Canada is a big country and they don't know the province names. So I tell them "Vancouver" just to make things easier on them. They all know where Vancouver is, thank you Olympics. Then they ask me if I've watched any of the Olympics (because this is obviously my second time at them,) the honest answer, is no. I've been in my bubble and haven't wanted to venture out until now, when the Olympics are over. That figures, I always miss the world events.

All in all, I am loving my adventure. I am experiencing every cliche imaginable!

And I have already started dreaming up new adventures, I will tell you about those later.

Ta ta for now, I have to go buy groceries! *insert housewife joke here*

A little History and a little Normality

I feel like each day I am growing more as a human being. I fully understand what it is to be a "Beautiful Butterfly" as the catterpillar in A Bugs Life put it. Although I don't feel like a butterfly just yet, I am slowly breaking out of my cocoon and I can feel the air of "real life" around me.

I went to see Big Ben and Trafalgar's Square today. I will have to go back, there were so many people there from the Olympics, you could hardly focus on anything for too long. I say this because it was, like walking around in a very plump tuna fish net. You move in any direction and you will get hit, by someone or some moving mode of transportation, biking and buses are a big thing over here. I also went to the National Gallery and the National Portrait Gallery.

I must tell you something before I continue. In grade 12 I took an English Literature course, it was seriously the best course I took in high school. Sorry Mrs. Vance, your classes put me in the position that I am in today, but English Literature gave me the strength for today. I learned so much about myself, culture, religion, art and society. I probably cannot tell you everything I learned, we covered a lot in just 6 months. I can tell you however, that when I walk next to a portrait of Alfred Lord Tennyson or Mr. and Mrs. Browning and what we discussed in class comes flooding back at me, like I was there not 5 minutes ago, it is moving. I appreciate the art so much more, because I have something I can relate it to. I made a connection to that piece. Also, when you walk by a portrait that you've seen in a book, just a tiny little thumbnail, and then see it in real life. That is something. I can't quite describe it, but it cements a feeling inside you. It kind of zips you in with history. Somehow, you are a part of it.

For that class I will be forever grateful. Mrs. Glenda Dolcetti you made that class memorable.

I know I will go to the National Gallery again, I was so inspired by the paintings. By the clothes! I wish I had brought my sketch book with me, although I was afraid my bag would be too heavy, and I know myslef well enough that I get tired after a while, which I did. So, packing light was good in the long run.

As for the housing situation, I have it covered! I found a flat within a 15 minute walking distance to my school! I will be sharing a room, so it cuts down on my costs a little, plus transportation will be cut too. I am just thrilled that I am starting my own journey! For so long, not really, I have been dreaming of this happening that now that it finally has, it's a little surreal. I don't know how to describe it without sounding boringly cheesy. It's just awesome. I recomend following dreams to experience these "fantasy" feelings.

As for my Mum, Dad and my brother. I miss them all terribly. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes as I type. I know it will get easier, but just for right now. I want a hug from my mummy. If I could have one thing, that would be it.

"I just need the one wish genie, thanks for the other 2, but I'll pass for right now."

I feel so...Normal, finally.

The Long Awaited First Post.

The past 3 days have been such an emotional rollercoaster!

But a good one, not going to lie, it is nice to be missed. You really know who finds YOU important. Not surprising that is is mostly my male friends, then again I don't have any girl friends that I see on a regular basis. I am just a REALLY NICE PERSON. Not some sleazy "Snookie" that runs around with my skirt too short showing my Britney Spears. I put leggings on.

So, I left really early in the morning on Sunday and got to Calgary 30 mins later, but thanks to time change it was an hour and 30 minutes later. I then spent a really nice time with my aunt, uncle and cousin. Who kept me laughing the entire time! I hope they don't get offened by my next comment, I did not know they were that funny. Like, genuinely funny, not mean humor or stupid humor. Just have a good laugh funny!

I am going to prolong about London as much as possible. *maniacle laughter*

On my plane ride I was blessed with a window seat, I slept through most of the flight and there was a lot of cloud cover, so not much to see, and the man beside me was respectfully nice. He was the typical, "I am going to give you your space, cause you're leaving me mine." I had to put my bag up in the overhead storage, so he and his buddies, who were all around, put it up for me. Well one of his buddies, not all of them, there were just a lot of them around him... I was singled out. They were all Asian, did I mention that? We chatted for most of the flight that I was awake for, which totaled an hour and half. It was a 8 or 9 hour flight. So Jet lag for me is not that bad. But there are points of the day where all I want to do is sleep. Like when I wake up in the morning! Then again, I've always had that problem. Going to sleep, not a problem, waking up. "5 more minutes!"

I get to London, looking out of the plane before I land, I am overwhelming consumed with this feeling of being "home."

The only time I have been out of Canada was for Disneyland.

The only thing that is scary to me, putting myself out there and just doing it. I am terrified of failure. It is why I am here in London. I would be failing myself if I did not make it here. I feel so comfortable in a city that I have never been to, only seen on a map. The people here are amazing, the fashion ( I fit in perfectly over here, by the way), the culture, the currency all more than what I had ever expected!

The currency is going to take some getting used to. For one thing the bills are different sizes and in size order; smallest is the smallest amount. The coins are not however, they vary in size and weight. and there are more of them. 50p, 2p, 20p. I must say even though Canada is getting rid of the penny, we have simplified system. England should take notes.
AS well, just getting oriented with my north, south, east and west. It's all outta wack.

Right now I am in a youth hostel, it's nice. A minute walk to a tube station and then  a 5 minute tube ride and I am at Oxford Circus, so handy!

As for tourisy things, once I find  a place to live, I will do them all!!!

Well, I think I am going to leave it there. Comment and ask a question if you like, but I don't want to overwhelm you like I have overwhelmed myself. Another post later to make you cry on your bed with all the emotions I have been feeling.




ps. Gavin, Mom I love you and miss you both. Very Much. <3

0 - 2

This will be my last post in Canada. This is a really sad day.

You know that feeling you get, when you finish school and you're about to leave for summer vacation? That is a similar feeling to what I have, right at this very moment.
Sorry, I lied, right at this very moment I want to fall asleep. My head keeps hitting the keyboard. The backspace is looking a little worn..

But, saying goodbye to my friends and work friends, it's a lot harder than what I thought. I kept putting the thoughts on the back burner. Now that they have risen, I'm about to cry.

DON'T YOU START CRYING!!

or I will cry..

 

 

 

Then we will have to buy some Puffs..

and I can't take those on the plane..

 

 

So stop it.

 

 

 

 

*wipes away mascara stained face* Okay, composure.

 

Although, the way I see it;

 

"Goodbye is an opportunity to say hello in the future."
 

Alright, all cheesiness aside, I am really going to miss everyone who I am leaving behind. I wish I could take you with me!! But I send my best wishes and luck your way. As well as a, wink and *snap, points gun* kind of, "you got it" wave goodbye. Plus a Marilyn Munroe kiss. I have to stay classy.


I have saved all my pennies!!
2 days to start spending. SHOPPING!!

Hello credit card! (uugghhh hello debt)



4 - 6

So, we might as well get right to it. "Get on with it." As the saying goes.

The plans that I had for my flat fell through.

 

There. I said it.

I DO feel a lot better now... Voicing it out loud, well typing it out loud, it's still not a very ideal situation. Although back up plans have been enforced. (Queue the national guard) My mummy had to come to my rescue. She really needs a cape.. A plaque will do I think...Maybe..I will just make her a cape. [ ;) ] But in all seriousness, I have a really hard time letting people help me. I am so independent that it is, more times then not, a weakness rather then a strength. I can take a lesson from this, however, ask for help. Bite your tongue once in a while Devon, just woman up and just ask. The worst they are going to is say "Sorry, can't." It's a hard lesson, but I am glad I've learnt it now.

 

So, I will be staying in a youth hostel until I can find a place to live. Which should be a maximum of 3 days. To be quite honest, I am more excited about that. It is more of an experience, it is a better way to understand the country and get to know it from the very core. They probably make them a little 'touristy,' but that is a comfort for when I first get there.

 

I feel really calm about this whole ordeal, I just know that it is going to work out. That I will be alright. If it doesn't work out, I can always call people for help. So, I am not entirely on my own. I am getting really excited because one of the first days I will be there the Fashion world is holding a Fashion's Night Out. It's an annual event, so I will get to experience it year after year. But I will get to meet new people and, hopefully, as my body contorts into an giant mess of crossed fingers and toes be able to, go with some school mates, if they get back to me! But if not, I will go venture out on my own. Because that is just who I am. Miss independent. (Off the right stage Kelly Clarkson is belting it out) Evident from earlier reading.

 

All in all, what we've learned this week is that it is mature to ask for help. Immature to think I can do it all myself. 

We all need some help now and then.

 

 

4 days to rapidly mature by 20 years (HAHA, as if)

6 days to rapidly get EVERYTHING in line. "Alright ducks, get on with it, line up."

8 - 10

There is just one more thing I have left to do.

Pack.

Something that most people have an easy time with. Not I. I get 2 suitcases, of which have to hold 50 lbs, each.

*FREAK OUT*

Now that THAT is over I can focus on the big picture. "What on earth do I bring with me?" Well this I have thought about for quite some time. What clothes I want to take with me, what personal items, so I started to write them all down. I have a LOT of stuff. You don't think about it when it just gets put away nicely in your room, my room is an absolute mess right now, but it you were to take everything that you own and just put it in the middle of your floor. You would be amazed. I am amazed. After work today I thought I would get a head start and pack a suitcase. Well, I got almost all the clothes that I wanted, and 2 pairs of shoes, into 1 suitcase, thank you vacuum bags, and it weighs 50.8 lbs. I haven't even thought about the second suitcase yet. Save that one for later. I still have a week.

Everything happened this week, I finally got my visa back, YUS, and I got my full drivers licence in 1 day, that was an exciting feat. The yesterday I booked my airline ticket after I found out my flat was paid for. I will be 25 mins, by tube, away from my school. That is reasonable, I had to do that through high school. I really don't mind. I probably won't be starting at 6 each morning, so I am quite ALRIGHT with that.

So, now that it is all booked and ready to go, it is starting to feel surreal. I have only been dreaming about this happening for the past 2 years. Now, I am just curious as to where my dreams in London will go...

Everyone says that they will miss me. I will miss everyone a lot more. My life is changing, I am going all alone, and I know literally, like, 3 people that live in the country (I've met 2 of them.)

People change and evolve, it is very exciting. The only thing I ask for, from all that people that will miss me; It is okay if you forget me, because I may loose track of all of you, but keep optimistic about the future.

Positivity is a beautiful thing, and it makes life exciting! You never know what will happen tomorrow, or the day after that. But wonder and optimism make tomorrow worth while.

8 days left with normality

10 days until complete chaos.

16 - 19

Well this month has been quite busy, and it's only just begun!

One of my best friends and I decided months ago that we would get tickets to the Nicki Minaj Concert that was playing in a city near ours. So we got the tickets, and we got REALLY nice ones. I have never been so happy with concert tickets since I saw Lady Gaga at the Monsterball. We had the best weekend ever, it was our 'Summer Vacation' and it was awesome. The best way to spend a weekend. I only had to take 1 day off work too, which was an added bonus. =)

It was out first trip as 'adults,' we (meaning me) drove down to Vancouver and stayed in a hotel, went shopping and went to the concert of the YEAR!

LOVE her face



I know everyone fancy's her so I am not going to try and convince you that your should listen to her music, I get that you all have your own music interests. I know mine are a little spread out. But quite honestly it was a really well laid out concert. She got you up on your feet with the fast paced club songs, let you catch your breath with a couple ballads and then picked you up again with her original music, the reason why I love her. I say original because it's all the stuff that not everyone knows. Well everyone at the concert knew. We knew all the words to her mix tape raps and feature raps. The look on her face when the audience retorted the lyrics was brilliant, it was heartfelt and genuine. It was a look of "Wow, my fans are awesome." And she ended on such a high note, Superbass.
T'was AMAZING.

I had the time of my life, and more of a work out then what I thought. (!!!)

So I expressed shopping before, I am going to explain my shopping to you, but here is a little inside info.
Have I mentioned that I have worked my ass of this passed year? (maybe once or twice.. haha)

she is so pretty, omg.

Well, because I have worked so hard I have been saving almost every penny I make. Leaving myself an allowance so that I don't go insane. But I haven't made a super big purchase, pretty much all year. Other than the Gaga HeartBeats that I bought for like $160. If you can take care of headphones I suggest investing in a good pair, it is worth it. 

ANYWAYS, I spent a ton of money on clothes and make up and jewelry. I know it was probably not the best idea, but I did need some new clothes and I would like to get rid of some of the ones I have, plus I can take fabulous clothes with me to the UK!!

Bra-let, Topshop
Jean Vest, Vintage
Disco Shorts, American Apparel
Leggings, Joe & Secret
Bag, Steve Madden
Shoes, Jeffery Campbell Knock offs
Barbie necklace
Sarf in hair, Vintage

We shopped downtown Vancouver, the Metrotown mall in Burnaby and the Aberdeen mall in Richmond. The Aberdeen mall is like going to Asia for a couple hours, AND everything there is inflated in price by like 60%.

I got at least 7 new outfits with all the clothes I bought. I cannot wait to shop at Topshop, they had a little boutique in The Bay downtown, and I bought shorts, a sweater, leggings, some jewelry and a cupcake bra-let that I absolutely love. Got some things at American Apparel that have been on my wish list, some jeans and leggings at Forever 21 and finally got my mascara from Sephora and my foundation from M.A.C. I accomplished a lot and it felt REALLY good. It was the retail therapy that I desperately needed.

<3

Most recently though, my Visa, so that I can enter the country and live and work there, is probably going to arrive tomorrow. I AM SO EXCITED!

This means that All that I have worked for, the highschool courses, the gap year, the stress it's all paying off!

I am finally breathing a little bit easier now. All that needs to be figured out is my flat, not all the details have been laid by the men, we're waiting to hear form the mice.



16 days to not spend a dime
19 days until I spend ALL my dimes



My best friend, Clayton and I

23-25

I haven't posted in a while, only because everything that happens with school is a "Wait!!" oh, then "Hurry UP!!!" Then a, "Wait!" and then "Okay, gointopanicmodebecauseeverythingishappening. NOW!" It is a grueling, terrible and very stressful way of doing things. So I am going to break down what has happened. 

Visa application is in and being processed. YAY!

Student loan has been accepted.
 (I am not sure how I feel about this. I mean, yes I am going to school and living my dreams, and it is the only way I would be able to afford to go... But I am going to have MASSIVE debt when I am finished. So it's a win, kind of semi loose situation. Not too sure about that.)

Anyway, I am a little panicked right now. The tuition for school is a very, very nice, new, shiny pretty penny. This will probably be my most expensive purchase of my life but, in the long run, it is worth it. The maximum dollar was given to me in a Student Loan. Only, it doesn't quite cover the entire amount of my tuition. A bit of it has already been paid, thanks to my grandparents on my dad's side. Love them! Then I have to pay a little portion of it myself. I was hoping that some MIRACLE would happen and I would wake up one morning and my bank account would have a billion zero's behind the number that's already in there. Sadly I was daydreaming and no, I did not win the lottery. Dammit!

Well, I know you're like, "Just get to the point you were trying to make about being panicked." I'm almost there, be patient. You have to know all the facts first. Plus I hate questions afterwords.

Okay well here is the Panicked point!

My living costs are going to be a little tight, and a quarter of my student loan is coming later in the year. I hate living on a super tight budget.
I like having money. So I can still be frugal, but if something dire comes up, I have money, it will mean I am okay. But that is not going to be the case. It's going to be the best couple years of my life, I know. But I wanted some safety net to catch me if I fell.
I do kick myself occasionally that I didn't keep my previous second job, but at the same time working myself to the point of exhaustion? Working 14 hour days, multiple days in a row, was not going to get me anywhere. If I was fired because I wasn't doing my job properly, I would have given up on school. So better to stick with one and then find a different second job. Which I have and it's working out pretty well. Except my boss doesn't want me to leave. Sorry!

I am pretty excited about things though. It's all starting to seem real and not some "wouldn't it be nice if.." fantasy.

Although I am going to miss the friends that I have here terribly! This weekend I am going to the Nicki Minaj concert with my best friend, we are going to have a FABULOUS time. I am so excited.
Treat myself to a little break, have a stress free weekend. Which I deserve! I have been working really hard for an entire year. It is about time I take a little weekend away, it's been a year.

But, what will be really nice is to have a week and a half to not, really, worry about anything, AND be in LONDON.



23 days to save as many shiny pennies as possible
25 days until I can say "Adios" to the pennies and "Hello" to the best days of my life.

32 -35

I have been going through so many emotions lately. I has been a whorl wind of crazy adventures.

Last weekend I took a super fast trip to Vancouver, I got my Visa Application and Student Loan application in, all in 1 go. It was a 24 hour trip and my mum and I slept in the back of our truck. Quite an experience, the weather was horrible driving down to Vancouver. There was a nasty thunder storm, hail, buckets upon buckets of rain and I was driving most of the gross part. On the way back it was lovely. We had a wonderful drive coming home.  Of course, right? Going down is so much stress, coming back you're as free as a bird. Well sort of.

However, going back to work was interesting. After doing something about college after months of not really doing much, and then suddenly doing something was hard. I just really want to be back in school. I miss going and learning things, I miss having friends that I can have conversations with (that last more then 5 minutes.) It makes me really appreciate my education. I worked for it, it wasn't just handed to me. I have put a lot of passion and emotional commitment into this, it's not just some flippant desire.

Anyway, so about more of my week. I did have a small freak out and my mum got the wrath of it. I know she has done a lot for me this past year, and getting down to the wire I am freaking out. I am so nervous, anxious, frustrated, annoyed and perplexed about so many things that we had a little row. Oh look I am already using British terms! Then she left for the weekend to spend time with her best friend, which I am glad she did. She has been under a lot of pressure and stress herself with her business, it was really unfair of me to blow up on her. Hind sight is always 20/20. I wish it was foresight is 20/20 most of the time, and when you need it to be. But sadly, that phrase is too long. I would be bored saying it after the first 5 words. But going to college is stressful enough, I had to hear about my cousin last year, and going over seas is stressful too. So both together creates a really stiff and sore neck. I could really use a massage, hint hint, wink wink. ;D

So another thing that I have accomplished, a jumpsuit that I made for my great aunt. I finally finished it! It took me such a long time because I had to go back and forth between cities and finding time between 2 jobs to actually do it. Lets just say that if I was given a giant room, her body, and 3 days. It would have been done. Well I finally got it done and she loves it! It is always a plus when the customer loves what you did. Such a good feeling, and another thing I can cross off my list before I leave. One less stresser. YAY!

The only thing that is REALLY stressing me, is my accommodation. With the Olympics right now everyone wants to think about long term tenants after the Olympics. Which I get, but it just means that EVERYTHING is going to happen in August. My flights, Visa, Student Loan, accommodation and the last days of working will all happen at the very end. I can see the finish line, I know its close, it just seems like a universe away. Until I actually get on the plane, THEN it will sink in.
But there is good news about my living situation. I have found some flatmates that are looking for a 5th person to room with them. They are just in the process of finding a place and will give me an address when they have one. As well as pictures, so I can see where I will be living. They have already assured me that I will not be sleeping with mice or cuddling with a rain bucket. They did say that I might get the cupboard under the stairs though. I almost died when they told me that. OMG HILARIOUS!

But all in all, good feelings. I just have to stay positive and remember to write things down, keep my brain uncluttered, so that I can stay focused on the plan at hand.

....and on a side note, one of my best friends and I are going to see Nicki Minaj in concert in 2 weekends. I am a LITTLE excited. It is kind of like our 'Summer treat/Au Revoir' for this year.



32 days left to make tips
35 days until I can sing "leaving on a Jet Plane"

40-43

In the past month I have noticed that my neck is getting smaller and smaller. I thought, "Hmm, that is strange, wait, no it is not. I have been under a lot of pressure and stress." All of it I have created, I own up to that fact. No one person, but myself, put it there.

I recently got a second job, to put a little extra money to my pocket book. By doing so, I have not seen the few friends that I have in at least a week and half. It is pushing 2 weeks with every passing day. Call me over dramatic but my friends are like a little stress reliever, I think that can be said for everyone. Although in all seriousness, last night I had a little melt down, quite literally because it is so hot here. I had a night off before a week of straight working, honestly I will not have a day off until next Monday, maybe.

I start work at 6 in the morning for one job finish at 2 have a nap nad then start  again at 5 or 5:30 and don't usually end working until 8 or 9 at night at the second job. Let me just say that I don't get to sit down for more than 20 minutes, sometimes I don't even sit down at these jobs, they're demanding. Just a little perspective.

Anyway, I called literally everyone I had to call. They were either busy or didn't pick up when I called. I had a 'little' breaking point. I HATE not having friends to do things with. I have been reluctant to make friends now because I will be leaving in such a short space of time. I just don't see the point to give myself and the other person that dissapointment of a failed friendship, or a lost one. I am a social butterfly, and right now I am in a cocoon, not yet flourishing. It's like waiting for Christmas morning, I am sleep deprived and miserable. Yet I know that in 43 days EVERYTHING will change, it will start being what I have imagined. It's just the waiting that is killing me.

I get an idea and want to pursue it, and I want to, well, now.

It is even hard to hear, "Oh you just have to wait a little while longer" or "I am so excited for you!" You know when you hear that for an entire year, everyday, you just want to walk away fingering the person. Seriously, like I haven't heard that already, and you don't think I am excited? It is my life that I have been dreaming about.

I think the point I am trying to convey here, I am getting antsy, and stir crazy. I have worked hard, even helping out my family when they really need me. I have been patiently been waiting ever since I got accepted. I sat by watching all my high school graduates going off to college and doing something with their lives, when  I still live at home constrained to shackles that I put myself in.

I have been sitting very nicely, can I have my treat now? please?!!? *pants *puppy dog eyes

40 days left to save all the money possible
43 days until I can see my neck again.

42 -45

So, a little bit about what is happening.

2007, Started my first Sewing class and knew that I was going to be in Fashion and desgin, for life.

November 2010, I got acctepted into the London College of Fashion.

June 2011, Graduated form Highschool.

August 2011, Defered for a year to save for college.

June 2012, Accepted a placement at the London College of Fashion.

Present, Freaking out because this all is about to happen. My life is about to be the independance that I have been dreaming about for the past 2 years. I have not been really expecting a lot form this whole ordeal, just planning for what is happening. I have small expectaions about what I am going to do while across the pond, but what I do expect, is that I am going to be learning what I want to learn. I will be interested in class, I will be have a desire to be the absolute best that I can. I will want to bring my A gtame and come home at the end of the day feeling good, like shit, or whatrever else, and know that I am feeling that way, because that is what I chose to happen. I made all of this happen, and I am feeling pretty divine about it.

 I feel like I could challenge the Gods and give them a run for their money. Most likely I will loose, but I will be okay with that.

42 days left to save.
45 days until I can spend.