Monday, November 5, 2012

Long time!! Hellooo

So I have not posted in a long time, I am not going to lie, I forgot about it. SOORRRRYY!!

BUT!, I am going to get back into the swing of things, because I can now use this for the Courses and Careers portion of my course. I can use at more of a diary. It might get personal, but not really. (it's been pretty personal)

The course is only a couple of weeks, so it's not that long, but we are supposed to pick out what we are wanting our BA's to be. At first I was like, "Well, I have no idea what the eff I want to do..." Then, one of my tutors was looking through my sketchbook to see my progress, he said, and I QUOTE "It's very costume-y.." 

Sorry. What?

My knee jerk reaction to that was relief, it wasn't textiles or print. There is nothing wrong with either of those, but if that was what I was good at I would need some serious counselling, I think I would collapse. It's just not where I see myself in 10 years. But costume, I have done 2 plays already (designed and made the costumes), seems like a natural placement for me. I can always go into womenswear later on, but I have always desired the skills of costume making and design. So, I started mulling over the idea, then I was talking to my mum and a couple friends, and slowly but surely I convinced myself that, yes, costume is where I should go. I can even still get into Central Saint Martins  It's just a matter of convincing myself that yes, I am that good. I've always had extreme self doubt. I know that I sometimes, most of the time, come off as extremely confident. The fact of the matter is that I feel I need to have every ones approval and opinion, which can be a good thing but it also has it's negatives. Needing constant affirmation can be annoying for some people. I just like to know what people are thinking, so that I can make my work that much better. I voice my opinion, others should feel like they can too. 

I think the one idea that sold me on going into costume design was the fact that I could possibly work with my brother later on in life. He wants to go into acting, also if I could achieve an Oscar or a BAFTA for my work, that would be AMAZING!


Just knowing that I could if I wanted to, switch over to womenswear later on in life makes me a little happier. I can take the skills from costume and apply them in a very wearable way. I look at my favorite designers and they're on the verge of costume. Galliano, Elie Saab, McQueen and the great John Paul Gaultier.

Now it's just a question of school, there is Central Saint Martins, Wimbledon and LCF that are a part of University of the Arts London. Then there are also Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts (RADA) and Nottingham University that have caught my eye, so I don't really know. CSM is my dream school, but I am intimidated, I don't feel like I quite deserve to be there. But I know I will be kicking myself if I don't go there,  I will feel like if I don't go there then I am not as good as I thought. It's a lot of pressure I am putting on myself.

I don't know if any of this is making sense, I am going to apply to all of them, and then if I get accepted to all of them I will have a REALLY TOUGH DECISION. (CSM..Duh)




Talk to yea soon!! 

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