Indecisive, Whiney, Dreamer, 20yr old baby.

First of all, it's been a while, second of all, this post will be short and sweet for a change.

I recently have gotten a job while in London, I hate it. I hate what I'm doing, I hate the hours, I hate it all. There is nothing about this job that is fulfilling in any way.

I've also decided that I am going to continue to hate doing mundane jobs some more, and it seems like all I do is whine, well yes, you are correct. I'm turning into one of the loudest, crying, whiny, baby 20 year olds that you will ever meet. To be honest, I'm not proud of that fact, I've also, just in the past hour, become okay with the fact that I will be turning 20 tomorrow and saying "Adios" to my teenage years. Just like how one of my friends back home is going to Mexico, to be set up on many a hot date by one of our friends who lives there. He's going to leave burnt, and leave others burnt too.

Going into my 20's I've decided, well, not really, sort of, yes and no...No, I've decided- WAIT. I'm not sure... I can tell you that I am the most annoyingly, indecisive human being.

I can say this because I have proof, when I go out to eat, I can never make up my mind in the time frame that is given. I have to weigh all my options. Annoyingly so, this year I have called my mum more times then I care to admit about "I don't know what I want, I'm just not sure. I mean, I want to be a clothing designer, that's what I've always wanted to do, but costume is where I think I will be great, and my tutors think so too." Ultimately, taking a Bachelors in Costume design is the best thing for me, but for the past month I have been really unsure. Until today, like when I eat, I went with my gut feeling. It's always the gut feeling I go back to, the knee jerk response, something I get really excited over. Which is aspiring to be like, Galliano, Biddell, Gaultier and Tracey. I feel that McQueen is too main stream, oh how fashionably hipster of me, and people only love the brand because of the death of Lee, and that it's the only high fashion brand they know. Miss Cambridge is to thank for that.

So here are my goals and my plans, and please, if I steer clear of these plans, direct me back to this post. Save it in your bookmarks bar, that way it's on hand cursor.


There is no way in hell I will be able to afford to pay for my 3 years of school and living in London, so I will be taking another productive year to save up some mula to get my butt back in England. Sooner rather then later, I miss the city already and I haven't even left.

I will also work on some projects of my own to build my design portfolio. I have been given the basics this year and that's all I need to get me going.

Also, if anyone knows of an agent to do some on the side modelling, life style modelling, I'm only 5'2 1/2. The midget of the family.

Last goal, to be back in England, for or before February. I will work 6 jobs if I need to, I am fully prepared to have absolutely no life, this is what dreams are made of.