Creative depression cured by an Oprah moment.

I am not sure how many of you know what it means to be "creatively depressed." It may not even be an actual phrase, but for the last week I have been feeling it. It consumes every part of your brain, to the point where distractions don't even fulfill any sort of procrastination. "Creatively depressed" is worse then any other type of depression (if there are types), it makes you feel like crap, about all of your work. When I say all, I mean it. All the past projects and work that I had done prior to this point, every bit of it was crap.

I was in such a fog, not just because it's been raining and cold outside, every idea that came to me just didn't make any sense. I couldn't see how I was going to be able to continue my project and fulfill my term requirements. I get grumpy and miserable when I am tired, but when I am "creatively depressed" I become this grumpy, sad, pathetic.. existence. Like, someone who has no mental capability, I get quiet and shell myself away. I say goodbye to the world and just exist, no living, no life, just watching my life grow old before my eyes.


Today changed that. I find that I need a certain amount of time to brood about my "depression," to fully understand why I have these feelings. I incubate for a while, and after this while is up I decide to, 'on a whim', just get out and see the world. Bump against shoulders in the street, walk through London as if I were watching a movie. I usually come up with some sort of inspiration to get me out of my funk. Today I went to the National Gallery, I usually go there to just think sometimes, its handy that it's free. I was looking at paintings for a long time, I think I looked at 5 and spent an hour and a half in there. I was just looking at them, all the details, thinking "what is it about this painting that I like so much?" I got lost in thought thinking about my own project that I stopped seeing the pictures, and was just staring. Countless people walked by me, but their faces were all a blur, it's actually the one time in my life where I can say that's happened. I didn't notice anyone, nothing peculiar interested me, nothing but my thoughts. I was making my way out of the gallery, thinking that I was done, when this painting by Peter Paul Rubens caught my eye. There was something about it, something similar to my project...

*SNAP*

Hello!!! My brain kicked into high gear and the "Oprah AHA Moment" happened. It all just clicked and made complete sense. I knew exactly how I was going to finish my project,  how I would create this character and build a wardrobe. This one painting dissipated the fog. It may have been raining outside, but I was full of sunshine and optimistic positivity.



I am going to complete my work now that I have it all sorted.








Thanks for reading! =)